TM
Vo
Volume
13l
Welcome to Volume 13 of Living on the Edge, the fortnightly newsletter from Living Edge Life Coaching, designed to inform, educate, challenge and inspire you!
For previous volumes click here.
Please forward onto your friends/colleagues and encourage them to subscribe.
Annabel Varvel
Life Coach BA.LLB
Alexander & I
COACHING CORNER
Are you speaking the same language?
How full is your love tank? That's a question that is asked in a great book I have been reading, called The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. So, how full is it? Do you feel loved and appreciated by your spouse, partner, friends & family? Or do you feel a bit depleted - as if you're just not sure if you are valued and appreciated? It might, according to Gary Chapman, have something to do with the language you speak - your love language that is!
There are many different ways to express love and what Mr Chapman says is that there are 5 main ways that we receive love - discovering your love language and that of your partner/children etc can have a radical impact on your relationships, so I thought over the next couple of editions of Living on the Edge we'll explore them. I'd love to get some feedback/real life stories about how the concept of love languages affects your relationships, so email me at coach@livingedge.net!
The theory is that if you are not receiving love in 'your language' then you will not feel loved, even though your loved one may be expressing love in a different language. For example if you speak the language of receiving gifts, but your partner is expressing his love for you in words, you will not feel loved and your love tank will not be full. Usually we express love in the way we like to receive it, so becoming aware of your own primary love language and that of your loved ones can help us to see where we need to learn new languages so we can communicate our love in a way that will be received as it was intended! So, let's take a look at the different languages:
- Words of Affirmation
- Quality Time
- Receiving gifts
- Acts of Service
- Physical Touch
Words of Affirmation
I love this language - this is mine for sure (although I do like all the others too, greedy, I ,know!) Fortunately for me, my love tank is usually full as I am privileged to have had parents that speak my language and a husband who knows it too! Leigh is constantly telling me he loves me and, more recently that I am a great mother ;-) These positive words make me feel fantastic! On the same level, I am quite sensitive to the occasion negative word too. People who's love language is words of affirmation love receiving cards of thanks, may write love poetry - anything involving words.
Quality Time
If you are constantly saying to your partner "But we don't spend enough time together!", chances are quality time is your primary love language. Quality time means giving somebody your undivided attention - not just being in the same room together! It means doing something that you really enjoy - like going to theatre or taking a holiday. All the words in the world will not fill the love tank of someone who wants quality time.
So over the next fortnight start to try and identify your primary love language (I know we haven't explored the other 3 yet) - have a look at how you express love and chances are that will be it. Once you've identified your love language, talk to your partner/friend/child and see if you can work out their's. Then, here's the challenge - try to do one thing in the next week that expresses love in the other person's love language - let me know what you learn! Enjoy!
ALSO BY GARY CHAPMAN
- The Five Love Languages of Children
- The Five Love Languages of God
- The Five Love Languages of Teenagers
GOT A QUESTION?
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
If you have a question or situation that you would like a life coach's perspective on... email it to coach@livingedge.net and I'll answer in Living on the Edge.
For the turtle to make progress, he has to stick out his neck.
Questions, comments, suggestions email coach@livingedge.net
To receive 'Living on the Edge' email subscribe@livingedge.net
To stop receiving 'Living on the Edge' email subscribe@livingedge.net and write 'unsubscribe' in the header.
LIVING EDGE
LIFE COACHING
28 Hawthorn Tce, Red Hill Q 4059
p: 07 3511 6138 f: 07 3511 6137 m: 0409 076 040
1300 137 803